DIVA TAUNIA'S BACKSTAGE PASS

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

ALWAYS A CRAIGSLIST WHORE

I have been sitting on the MOST uncomfortable office chair for a long while now. Even though I know rationally it's good to invest in something that will support your back and fat ass all day, I have a lot of trouble paying $100+ for an office chair. So, of course, I've been camped out on Craigslist looking for a good deal....and I found one!

First, don't be alarmed by the bright orange. It's actually a soft, burnt orange color that's really nice. Second, it's super-comfortable and really supportive of my back. And last, it normally sells for $159.00 at Staples. I got it BRAND NEW, IN THE UNOPENED BOX for $20!!

I guess he originally tried to sell it for more, but no one wanted it because it was orange. Not me. I have no shame. And now I have a kick-ass office chair!

Thank you, Craig. I love you more and more each day!

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Posted by Taunia @ 5:49 AM :: (0) comments

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

GREASED LIGHTENING


For a long time now, I've thought myself a pretty good chef. It's come to my attention recently that much like me and driving, me and a kitchen are not a good idea. And it's already been proven that I SUCK at washing dishes. Try as I may, stuff is always still dirty after I wash it. (Note: I *really* miss my dishwasher at my old apartment.) After a recent event in my kitchen, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be allowed in there for anything more than grabbing a plate and silverware.

Two nights ago, I decided to make a salad and a couple mozzarella sticks for dinner. (no, not very WW friendly, I know) I put a light coating of olive oil in a pan and then decided to put a cover on it. I have no idea why I decided to that, but I did. I stepped away for literally TWO MINUTES and came back to the stove to drop the cheesy goodness in. I took the cover off the pan and it FUCKING EXPLODED WITH FLAMES!!!!! I am not even exaggerating like I usually do for a good story. There were flames everywhere and I freaked out.

Those of you who know me know that I do NOT do well in crisis mode. I'm the hyperventalating girl who starts to cry - I suck at crisis management. So imagine my response to flames everywhere. I could NOT for the life of me remember what to do for a grease fire. So what did I do? Brought the pan over to the sink to DOUSE IT IN WATER. Yeah, totally smart. OIL AND WATER DO NOT MIX.

Just in case anyone reading this is as completely retarded as I am, dousing it with water doesn't work. You know what dousing it with water does? It makes flames shoot up to the ceiling and jump out of the pan onto the floor so that your whole entire kitchen is engulfed in flames. That's what it does.

So my next option? Grabbing a wet towel and beating the shit out of the flames. Just FYI - that doesn't work either. You know what DOES work? Putting the cover back on and smothering the air out of the flames. (Or baking soda as my grandmother told me later.) Either of those will work. I put the cover on it and beat that fire down.

Of course the entire kitchen was filled with black smoke that stung my eyes...and then the fire alarm went off. Awesome. So I grabbed the wet towel and waved it around and finally got the fire alarm to stop ringing. But you know what's connected to the fire alarm? The house alarm. Which went off immediately after the fire alarm started.

HOLY CRAP that alarm was LOUD. It sounded like someone broke into a federal bank. And not only did it ring IN the house, but it rang OUTSIDE of the house and anyone within a 3 mile radius could hear it. Still being freaked out, I ran next door and got my neighbor Rob and begged him to help me. (Note: I have the coolest next door neighbors EVER. They were amazingly helpful and responsive - so, so great.) As he went in the house walking through grease on the floor in his bare feet trying to shut off the alarm, every other neighbor came over too to see if everything was ok.

I think it's important to note here that just prior to putting the oil on the stove, I had changed into a flimsy nightgown with no bra, pulled up my hair and put on my glasses. All my neighbors got to see this. Nice. Rob finally turned the alarm off, and then I realized that all the doors were open and I didn't know where Julip was. Luckily, she got scared and ran upstairs and hid, so she was ok.

The weird/lucky thing? Not one single thing got damaged: not the stove, not the floor or ceiling, not the sink. Everything is perfectly fine - including me. I got some small burn marks on my right arm and that's it. For something so incredibly scary, I was really, really lucky to not have damaged anything, myself, or my dog. I'm pretty damn thankful for that.

So no more cooking for me. Only microwave and take-out from now on. Because only I can prevent grease fires. By not cooking. Ever.

Posted by Taunia @ 6:36 AM :: (1) comments

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

THE NICEST COMPLIMENT *EVER*

I have this adorable new student from Sweden. She's actually quite stunning: tall, thin, blonde, and just a really sweet disposition. She's a nanny here in the US and she decided to take voice lessons because she missed singing since she left Sweden.

Tonight was her second lesson with me, and we had a really great lesson. She just soaks up the information and really listens and wants to understand her voice. When she was leaving, she turned to me and said, "you know, I have to just tell you that when I leave here, I feel ALIVE. My heart just feels alive. I'm so glad I'm taking lessons with you."

That was probably the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me, and knowing that something I do helps someone feel like that...well, it doesn't get much better than that. :)

Posted by Taunia @ 5:29 PM :: (0) comments

Saturday, June 16, 2007

ON THE DIVA SIDE OF THE STREET

It's been officially confirmed that my street/neighborhood kicks ass. All of my friends and family who have visited so far all say the same thing: "this street is BEAUTIFUL." And it truly is. Very "Leave It To Beaver."


You know, it's funny, becuase often times you'll see suburban folks depicted in a satirical way in some movies - with people out mowing their yards or gardening as if that's the only the they do with their lives on the weekends or whatever. And that is exactly what happens here on my street. The thing is, though, is that it's a community feeling. People work together to keep their space of the neighborhood looking nice so that the overall neighborhood is a welcoming and pretty environment for everyone. AND people talk to each other. They hang out and converse and spend time with each other. It may be depicted as corny on film, but I love it. And yes, people, my lazy ass already mowed my gigantic lawn TWICE (more on that below).


My neighbors are mostly older than me. There seems to be a split of older retired people, and younger well-off married couples (with kids) that are slightly older than me. There's not one unfriendly one in the bunch, though. In fact, my next door neighbors had a yard sale yesterday, and I went over to say hello. I already know them pretty well and they've been really friendly and welcoming to me. A lot of other people in the neighborhood stopped by too, and I was introduced to everyone and they were curious about me and what I do and just overall very nice and welcoming.


The neighbors on both sides of my house ware really, really friendly. We actually talk to each other and have a great relationship. Keeping in mind the extremely disrespectful and unfriendly neighbors I had previously, this is a very welcome and appreciated change. They're all the kind of folks that invite you over to their backyard to sit and have a drink with them. Good people, and I'm very fortunate.


So let's talk about the mowing now. Good LORD, my yard is big! I've got an easy-enough front yard to mow, and a GIGANTIC back yard:




Obviously my back yard isn't polka-dotted, that's the sun peaking through the trees. But YIKES! That's a whole lotta grass to mow. It takes me 45 minutes to mow the front and back yard. Ok, granted, I'm fat and slow, but still...that's a good chunk of an hour! But I have to do my part to keep the 'hood looking dope.


I waited a bit to put photos of the inside up until I got all my stuff put away. I'm still lacking in the furniture department, and I definitely could use help with interior decorating, but I am HAPPY. Hell, I live in a HOUSE now! How much ass does that kick? A LOT. So here are some pix of the inside that I've uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Keep in mind two things: 1) I still have lots of interior decorating to do and furniture to buy and 2) they were taken with my crappy camera phone. The camera phone makes everything look REALLY dark. The house is actually very bright and has a lot of natural light, which I love:


HOUSE PHOTO SLIDE SHOW


On a separate note, today is Father's Day, and I would be remiss if I did not give a gigantic, full-o-love shout out to my pops - the best dad in the entire world. Every day, I find out that I'm more and more like him and recognize the sense of loyalty, goodness, and self-respect that he gave me. Thanks, dad. You're the best and I love you.


Posted by Taunia @ 7:39 AM :: (0) comments

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

DNA VISUAL FUN, PROVIDED BY MISS AIMEE

Aimee sent me this today, which was a fun distraction from work:



Read my VisualDNA Get your own VisualDNA™


Thanks, Aimee!

Posted by Taunia @ 7:42 AM :: (0) comments

Friday, June 01, 2007

#@$%!#$%(u@%&!!!!!!

For the record: I fucking HATE packing!

Posted by Taunia @ 10:58 AM :: (0) comments