Sunday, June 01, 2008
I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW
Well, I was back in the hospital again on Friday. I was having massive pain in my abdomen and I had this wacky situation where I may not have had insurance for the month of June (more on that later), so I got myself in there pronto. I started having serious pain again on Wednesday, and all through Thursday. I was trying like hell to ignore it, but Thursday night and Friday morning had me vomiting, and I hadn't eaten in three days, so I knew at the very least I was getting dehydrated and that I should go to the ER.First, let me be clear: this is NOT a complication of the gastric bypass surgery. This is a pre-existing condition that I've had for a long, long while now that's just come to fruition. In fact, from the two CT scans that I've had, my whole gastro-intestinal system is looking super-good. Unfortunately, my kidneys: not so much.
This time, one of the ginormous kidney stones blocking my kidney broke off, thereby causing MORE pain and bleeding. The pain was so intense it was making me vomit. I seriously wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's so horrible. The next step is kidney surgery. They'll go in from my back into the kidney and take out all of the junk. They can't let it pass because 1) it's too big 2) it's too much 3) it would be too much stress on my body and something bad would happen to me. So, under the knife I go again. I'm racking up some serious frequent flyer miles here, and pretty soon I should be due for a free surgery! (my breasts will thank me for it later when they're being reconstructed)
So the insurance debacle: my Commonwealth Care program cut me off at 6 months because I make too much money now. Fine, whatever, I'll pay a chunk of money. The issue was, I didn't think I would get the new insurance in time. I got the paperwork and check off at the very last second, and I thought for sure that the month of June would be spent uninsured. But YAY! I got a letter on Saturday saying that I was approved and that my coverage started on June 1st. For the lovely price of $339 a month. Fabulous!
Anyhow, I've been pretty depressed about all of this lately. Not a day goes by where I'm NOT in pain, NOT nauseous, NOT tried and lethargic due to lack of food and water. It's seriously sucking the life out of me, and I've been crying for a week now. I do my very, very best to be positive and upbeat, but this is just too much to handle. Thank GOD that my insurance has kicked in and I can schedule this surgery ASAP.
Anyhow, a friend of mine sent me THIS VIDEO. It's amazing what the power of music can do. I mean, my situation still sucks and this doesn't change it at all, but listening to Johnny Nash sing, and REALLY listening to the lyrics gives me a feeling of hope and happiness:
Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
As soon as this operation is over, this is going to be my theme song, I tell ya. And I'll be singing this myself until then....
Read or Post a Comment
I'm so happy to hear that your insurance got figured out and that you will be able to go in for surgery sooner rather than later.
As always, let me know if you need anything.
Feel better soon.
Jennifer
Hi Ive been watching your videos on you tube and its so great to see you doing well. Im getiing Lapband surgery on the 7th August and Im (between you and me) crapping myself!!!!! not about the op but Im more worried about the unknown. Anyway im not yet game enough to you tube my story but I have a blog if you are interested. beenabeena.blogspot.com
I would love to hear from you..
Cheers
Did you say "breast reconstruction?" Sweet, if it were just my call I'd go for the X-large, pert and perkys with just a hint of cleavage.
Maybe it's the enormous pain I'm in right now, but it seems a little insensitive to pimp out your own WLS journey and blog on an entry where I have been talking about how depressed I am, and how much pain I've been in.
Not that I'm not happy for you and supportive of your choice, but just sayin'.
And I'm just going to ignore the other comment....
Oh, Taunia! I'm so sorry you are suffering like this. Those F$cking kidneys better behave!
I hope that things are looking a little better for you now than when you posted this..
Hugs,
Jenn
Taunia,
I hope this message finds you well and you are recouperating. Please give us all an update on yourself soon!
**sending you good vibes**
Amber
PS - your niece is too cute!