Thursday, September 27, 2007
Goodbye Beannie
Today was the day.I went to my parents early so I could spend time with him before I brought him over. He was very hungry and not touching his food, and his tail was flipping with agitation. He let me pet him, but he didn't want me picking him up (like he used to love).
I brought Beannie to the vet at 5:45. It was so hard because even though he was dirty from not being able to clean himself, he was alert and didn't look that bad. I kept second guessing myself if I was making the right decision, and I was crying all day long about this.
I brought him in and had about 15 minutes to wait until the doctor came in. I sat that holding him and crying, and feeling like I was going to throw up at any time. The doctor finally came in, and we talked about it and she said she really believed it was the right decision. She gave him a shot to help him relax and gave me another five minutes with him. He curled up in a ball in my arms and I started sobbing and telling him I loved him and I was sorry. She came back in and let me hold him while she gave him the shot. She said it would be about 30 seconds, but he was gone in about 10 seconds.
She said I could stay with him longer if I wanted, but I couldn't. She took him and I collapsed in the chair sobbing my eyes out. He went so peacefully, but I am still so very, very sad about it. Afterwards, she came out and told me that in a week's time, the tumor had grown and had now gone from the bottom of his mouth into the back of his throat. It was the right decision.
He was such a beautiful, sweet cat. I can't believe how painful this is. It was awful to go through, but I'm glad it was me with him, and I'm glad he died in my arms surrounded by love.
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I'm so very sorry and can't imagine how hard that was for you. A nightmare I'm sure, but Beannie will always be with you. My heart breaks for you :(
I am sorry for your loss. You took me right back to over 10 years ago when I had to put my cat down. To this day I still cry when I talk or think about it. I am glad you were there for it. I couldn't get out of bed. My mom had to do it.