DIVA TAUNIA'S BACKSTAGE PASS

Monday, March 26, 2007

THINGS CHANGE

Before you read the end of this, it's probably important to note that I've got some serious PMS going on and I'm cranky and incredibly emotional. Disclaimer finished.

So I'll start with the good changes:



I redesigned the entire site this weekend and I'm pretty happy with it. I know there's a ton of stuff that I could be better at (like type and a lot of consistency issues), but overall, I think it's softened up a bit, but still bright and cheery despite all the b&w photos. I think this is my favorite site so far. You can click on the photo and it will take you to the site.

I've got a lot of big things in store for us, and I'm just solidifying new dates. I love the low-stress love this band has, and so do the guys. We put on good shows, work hard when we have to, and keep making good music. That's good enough for me.

Another potential good change is the addition of another person at (tech support) work to handle things over the weekend. This is great for me because I've been working a lot of weekend hours (though I welcome the money) and I'm feeling a little tired. And I love this job and don't want to become tired of it, so this change is good.

What's even better is that the change may also open a new career door for my friend Sue. She's been a professional chef for over 20 years now, and she wants a career in the computer industry for two reasons: 1) it's not so taxing physically and 2) more money. Even with no experience, my boss has agreed to meet with her on my recommendation. I'm personally just very excited for her because it could be a huge, life-altering thing for her...all for the better. Fingers crossed for her meeting!

Speaking of huge, life-altering things for her: she's becoming an instant-mommy! Her husband Habib's 14 year old daughter decided that she wants to live with her dad in the U.S. (she's in Singapore now) This girl is incredibly lucky, as she's about to become part of one of the most loving and amazing family's I've ever know. Sue's scared, but also really excited. I know she'll be a kick-ass mom!

And now, for the somber me....

I've been feeling REALLY lonely lately. It's not the being alone in my house that makes me sad - I'm actually ok with that and enjoy my time alone. It just seems to hit me most in the smaller moments: like if I want to go grab a cup of coffee and sit outside, I've got no one to do that with. If I cook a nice dinner - no one to share it with. If I need to talk about issues that involve a well-thought out decision - no one to share that responsbility with.

What's kept me peppy and upbeat, though, is my school-girl crush. I've talked about him before: M, who works a couple doors down from my building. There's just something about him that I'm really attracted to. Despite not really knowing anything about him other than his name and where he works, there's something about HIM that draws me too him. He's got this big, welcoming smile, and I just become a ridiculous, babbling dork when I'm around him. So even though I'm alone, I daydream about him a lot and he was someone to look forward to seeing, even though he probably has zero feelings for me. Not knowing was kind of nice because it let me daydream about him and think about maybe asking him out for a date. I don't really know how it happened, but I have totally fallen for this guy that I know absolutely nothing about.

And then it happened:

I was walking Julip tonight and turned the corner to see him and another girl he works with sitting very snuggly together at the table outside of where he works. It seems pretty clear there's some sort of relationship there.And it BROKE. MY. HEART. I managed to squeek out a hello, but I was choked up. I got into my apartment and burst into tears.

She was the exact opposite of me: short, thin, dark and gothic looking, and YOUNG. Like him. I recognize that my sadness stems from issues of feeling older and being alone, but I also really and truly had a thing for him. And now I have no crush to daydream about. I'm just so sad about it.



But I'll end with some good news: my brother started dating a girl who seems really col and nice and he seems pretty happy about it. And I'm happy for him. And for her, because my brother is the shiznit.

So people, if you've got someone in your life, don't take it for granted. Really. Be happy that you have someone who you can share things with. And crush on.

The End.

Love,
THE PMS DIVA

Posted by Taunia @ 7:42 AM