DIVA TAUNIA'S BACKSTAGE PASS

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

WORRYING

I'm worried about my dad.

After a recent doctor's visit filled with tests he was diagnosed with diabetes, which runs rampant in my family. He also has high blood pressure and a swollen heart valve and is on heart medication. He told me all this as he was smoking a cigarette and cooking a big pasta dinner.

The doctor told him that if he continues to smoke and eat like this, he'll be dead in 5 years. My dad is only 59 years old. And I want to cry.

He's a carpenter and is working on the job all day long. He's very physically active, has a youthful appearance and attitude, and is only overweight by a few extra lbs (although the doctor told him he needs to lose those extra pounds). I think most people would be fooled by this and think he's pretty healthy. I think even he's fooled even himself.

I told him I wanted him to join WW with me and to start the patch. He immediately dismissed both ideas and got defensive. I mean, how do I even begin to question his choices and actions when I can't even face my own demons and lose weight? I'm hardly someone to pass judgement, and I know how hard it is to quit something you love.

But I don't want my dad to die. Not in five years. My dad is one of the most upstanding, loving people you'd ever meet. I'll be devasted if he's gone in five years. I don't know what to do or say to him or to handle this.

I'm angry at myself for not being able to help motivate him through my example, and I'm angry at him for not being motivated enough to help himself.

Posted by Taunia @ 2:13 PM