Monday, March 26, 2007
THINGS CHANGE
Before you read the end of this, it's probably important to note that I've got some serious PMS going on and I'm cranky and incredibly emotional. Disclaimer finished.So I'll start with the good changes:
I redesigned the entire site this weekend and I'm pretty happy with it. I know there's a ton of stuff that I could be better at (like type and a lot of consistency issues), but overall, I think it's softened up a bit, but still bright and cheery despite all the b&w photos. I think this is my favorite site so far. You can click on the photo and it will take you to the site.
I've got a lot of big things in store for us, and I'm just solidifying new dates. I love the low-stress love this band has, and so do the guys. We put on good shows, work hard when we have to, and keep making good music. That's good enough for me.
Another potential good change is the addition of another person at (tech support) work to handle things over the weekend. This is great for me because I've been working a lot of weekend hours (though I welcome the money) and I'm feeling a little tired. And I love this job and don't want to become tired of it, so this change is good.
What's even better is that the change may also open a new career door for my friend Sue. She's been a professional chef for over 20 years now, and she wants a career in the computer industry for two reasons: 1) it's not so taxing physically and 2) more money. Even with no experience, my boss has agreed to meet with her on my recommendation. I'm personally just very excited for her because it could be a huge, life-altering thing for her...all for the better. Fingers crossed for her meeting!
Speaking of huge, life-altering things for her: she's becoming an instant-mommy! Her husband Habib's 14 year old daughter decided that she wants to live with her dad in the U.S. (she's in Singapore now) This girl is incredibly lucky, as she's about to become part of one of the most loving and amazing family's I've ever know. Sue's scared, but also really excited. I know she'll be a kick-ass mom!
And now, for the somber me....
I've been feeling REALLY lonely lately. It's not the being alone in my house that makes me sad - I'm actually ok with that and enjoy my time alone. It just seems to hit me most in the smaller moments: like if I want to go grab a cup of coffee and sit outside, I've got no one to do that with. If I cook a nice dinner - no one to share it with. If I need to talk about issues that involve a well-thought out decision - no one to share that responsbility with.
What's kept me peppy and upbeat, though, is my school-girl crush. I've talked about him before: M, who works a couple doors down from my building. There's just something about him that I'm really attracted to. Despite not really knowing anything about him other than his name and where he works, there's something about HIM that draws me too him. He's got this big, welcoming smile, and I just become a ridiculous, babbling dork when I'm around him. So even though I'm alone, I daydream about him a lot and he was someone to look forward to seeing, even though he probably has zero feelings for me. Not knowing was kind of nice because it let me daydream about him and think about maybe asking him out for a date. I don't really know how it happened, but I have totally fallen for this guy that I know absolutely nothing about.
And then it happened:
I was walking Julip tonight and turned the corner to see him and another girl he works with sitting very snuggly together at the table outside of where he works. It seems pretty clear there's some sort of relationship there.And it BROKE. MY. HEART. I managed to squeek out a hello, but I was choked up. I got into my apartment and burst into tears.
She was the exact opposite of me: short, thin, dark and gothic looking, and YOUNG. Like him. I recognize that my sadness stems from issues of feeling older and being alone, but I also really and truly had a thing for him. And now I have no crush to daydream about. I'm just so sad about it.
But I'll end with some good news: my brother started dating a girl who seems really col and nice and he seems pretty happy about it. And I'm happy for him. And for her, because my brother is the shiznit.
So people, if you've got someone in your life, don't take it for granted. Really. Be happy that you have someone who you can share things with. And crush on.
The End.
Love,
THE PMS DIVA
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
TASTES LIKE DESPAIR
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I HEAR MUSIC, AND IT BREAKS MY HEART
I'm completely obsessed with this song and video:Monday, March 05, 2007
THE BIG DILEMMA
My parents have an inlaw apartment attached to their house. My dad built it about 20 years ago for my Aunt Evie (bird and tire sale), and she has since moved into an assisted living community. We all took some turns living there, and I finally talked my parents into getting a tenant. They finally got a girl, A, who moved in last October.She clearly didn't have a lot of money, so my dad worked out a situation for her because he thought she seemed nice enough. He dropped the original rent down from $1000 to $800 a month - and that includes ALL utilities, including cable and internet. THEN, he told her she could pay him twice a month on the second and last week of each month. THEN he told her that she didn't have to pay first, last, and security - she could just move in. This girl also has a very large rottweiler (of course, a selling point for my dog-loving father), and she NEVER could have found a situation like this anywhere else.
Of course, she turned out to be an awful tenant. She has never paid my father on time, owes him $1100+ right now, and my father FINALLY gave her an eviction notice. He and my mom said the "feel bad for her" and I actually had to lecture them on what poor business decisions that they're making. My dad is OUT OF WORK. This girl knows the situation and continues to screw my parents over. I told my dad that if he didn't evict her, I was going over there personally to throw her ass out. I'm pretty sure she's a drug-addict, and at the very least, she spends all her money on booze - which was evident by the piles and piles of beer cans that MY DAD cleaned off of her porch. She's just bad news.
So here comes the dilemma: my parents asked me to move back in to the apartment. I'm pretty certain they need help paying the mortgage, and they know I'm in a position to do that now. My dad re-did the whole apartment before his accident, so it's pretty nice now, albeit much smaller than my current loft. I just don't know what to do here. I know they just don't feel comfortable or trust having a stranger in there, and I know that they need the help financially.
I get along really well with my parents, and I don't mind living next door to them - regardless of the "you're living with your PARENTS?!?!" stigma that'll come along with this. I just feel like I'll be cutting myself off even more from society. Right now, I work all day from home, but I go out four times a day with Julip walking and I ALWAYS meet people. I won't have that opportunity in a small suburb backroad. There's other things to, but I decided to do a pro and con list:
PROS:
-I'll be able to pay my parents mortgage for them, and also pay save $600 a month LESS in rent and bills.
-I'll be able to start sacking away some serious cash for a house.
-There will be a big back yard and another dog for Julip to run around and play with.
-I won't need to pay for parking anymore and will have a nice big driveway again.
-I won't need to deal with screaming children on both sides of my walls like I do right now.
-I'll actually have separate rooms again - which will be kind of nice.
-I'll live closer to the friends I hang out with most often with.
-I'll be around to help with physical things that my dad can't do anymore, like shoveling snow, etc.
-I'll be able to help my parents out.
CONS:
-I may need to get out of my lease early, which could potentially suck.
-I'll have to move - AGAIN (don't worry friends, I'll hire a moving company).
-The place will be smaller.
-There's NO single people in the area.
-My parents live next door = not so much privacy about my life.
-No cool places to hang out in the area like there are now.
-Moving out at any time may be difficult as I'm sure my parents will start to become dependent on me being there.
The thing is, my parents have ALWAYS helped me out when I needed it. Now I'm in a financial and physical position where I can help them, and I feel like I need to do something selfless and helpful. It's not like I have a family or anything that would make this a difficult move. I just hesitate because I feel like it's saying goodbye to meeting anyone new - friends or otherwise.
In any case, getting out of my current lease would be tough. I think I'd have to try and pay both my rent and their mortgage for at least a few months. I could probably swing that, but it would be tight.
I'm open to hearing anyone's opinions or thoughts on this. There may be things I'm not considering too, so I welcome feedback - especially from folks who know both me and my parents - to help make this decision.